haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
