apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
