For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
