Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
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We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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