I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
