windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
