And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
