whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize