6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
