Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
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He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
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I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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