Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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