Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
