Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
