Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
