And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
