cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
