The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
