Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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