I just saw a hot homeless man
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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