Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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