No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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