My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
