You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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