Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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