I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
