Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize