none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
