I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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