I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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