Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
