Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
