4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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