hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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