I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Everclear isn't food dammit
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