Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize