i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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