I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
