I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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