We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
