One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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