I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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