Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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