im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
