I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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