Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
