Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
