I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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