we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
