how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
