ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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