if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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