My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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