I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
