do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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