I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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