his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
