There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
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Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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