Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
