wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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