you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dignity is for republicans.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
