i just wanna soil my oats bro
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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