i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
