If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
