By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
